By Jennifer L. Jacobson of Retrevo.com
Please Note: This satirical article is indented for comedic purposes only and is in no way making claims about Mark Zuckerberg, Zynga or any other person or brand mentioned herein. The statements in this article are not true, and are intended only to be funny. For the real story click here. We now return you to your regularly scheduled article. Enjoy.
“Until recently, FarmVille was just a social game,” said the twenty-seven-year-old billionaire, “but a few months ago some of us at Facebook and Zynga decided that the way humans evolved to eat food was just too mean. So we decided to engage the sixty-two million people who play FarmVille and see if we could find a solution to the unnecessary pain and suffering associated with traditional food sources and what could be more socially acceptable than eating only what’s grown in FarmVille? It’s sustainable and much easier to do online than it is on the great American plains. That’s when we put out a call to some of the more active FarmVille farmers to form a virtual cooperative and the response has been amazing”
While virtual animal rights groups across the globe have protested the slaughter of some of FarmVille’s “cuter” animals, Zuckerberg insists the digital animals are killed humanely. “I insist on personally killing each digital animal that I eat.” Zuckerberg also added that he also harvests his own apples, pumpkins and blueberries. “We’ve even created a mobile app for people’s cell phones that allows FarmVille players to download and eat their crops and livestock on-the-go.”