If you're smart, you've already used this month's rent money to buy Apple's can't-live-without 24-carat-gold ipod, or "pimppod," as I like to call it (link to Pimp my blog post, which features this product). But you're only half way there my friend. If you want to have any chance attracting that emo girl at your local java spot, you must also have one of these:
I mean, come on, the power button is coated in diamonds! Now all you need is a crystal-encrusted bluetooth and you'll be that much closer to getting your ass kicked, er, I mean, closing the deal with that hot coffee mama!